My parents taught me to stay away from things like rock and roll, marijuana, and gay porn. Sorry, Mom and Dad, but I think I’m rebelling a little bit. And by rebelling I mean I listen to Metallica while getting stoned after I’m done sucking my boyfriend’s cock. I don’t have the heart to break it to them. Maybe this Sunday I’ll take them out to Olive Garden after church and tell them then. They seem to take bad news better when carbs are involved.

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